Tuesday, October 25, 2011

OH NO- the turkey is dry.....

I can't sleep... This sort of thing NEVER used to happen to me before cancer... That's called B.C. in my world these days... It is so much easier not to use that word all the time.  I suppose a lot of things were easier.  Like shopping in October.  I suppose all the pink ribbons and shirts, and cups, and well...  you name it - (In support of breast cancer) were easier to look at... As if I don't think about it all the time.  There's a reminder.  And a good one.  Every time I see finding a Cure I think of Bella.  Hoping that some day she has a cure.  So if it means I have to look at pink pins, headbands, and even tennis balls... so be it! I really do still love the color pink, I suppose maybe even a bit more.   October... here we are... I remember when I was in my worst days of May thinking what a long summer it would be, and a hard fall... and I would think how much I wanted to see those trees turn colors and then... then.. I would be almost done.....Granville is absolutely beautiful in the Fall, and those early days of May I remember thinking of all my memories of Granville is the Fall...it seemed so far away...
Well, here we are... and I must say... it has been a journey, and one that has had its ups and downs.  I haven't blogged since August, and I have heard about it!  Why isn't she blogging?? Is she worse?  Is she better and busy?  What is going on??   And the answer is....... Busy and tired.    But a good tired for the most part.  Chemo has been tricky.  Tricky in the sense that originally I was scheduled to go 4 A/C treatments and then 12 Taxole treatments.  I did my 4 A/C treatments to find out that there was/is a shortage  of Taxole, and therefore my Dr. changed my treatments to Taxotere.  Only 4 Taxotere with 3 wks in between due to the harshness of the drug.  And according to my breast surgeon Dr. Lilly who might have (and I use the term might lightly) put his foot in his mouth--" Taxotere is a killer." 
I have had two treatments of Taxotere.  The first was doable- I was in bed a few days, flu like feeling, slight fever... but seriously, this is chemo... I got thru it.  The second Taxotere... was what I like to call my first scare... I had chemo on Thursday and by Monday I still couldn't get out of bed, and fever rising... I called the James, and they wanted to admit me.. ask me to pack for two nights.  By the grace of God.. when I got there my white blood counts were good (well good for a chemo chic) and they gave me IV antibiotics, and IV fluids, my fever let up and I was able to go home.  A terrible day, but over-joyed  to be spending the night back at home, with my kids and hubby.  You see, my oncologist said to me at our first meeting... Brett the only predicable thing about cancer is that it is unpredictable.   I hear this so many times running thru my head.  His version of my roller coaster ride.  Well, I am near the end of this ride... ready to enjoy so many other things at the Park so to speak!  I have chemo this Thursday again.  That means I get to start my pre-meds tomorrow and "nest" meaning try to get ready to spend the following 4 or so days in bed.  It is no party and I am so glad to be at the end of chemo.  I have one more after this Thursday.  It happens to be Nov. 17th... my last chemo. Ever.  Right before Thanksgiving.  Hard to say that sentence without tears.  I am so Thankful this year.  Brings absolute new meaning to Thanksgiving.  I mean do I care if the Turkey is dry? HELL no!  Or who brings what?  Nope.  Just happy to be here.    And in our new house-  That we moved into 2 wks. BC.... and I had visions of my family eating Thanksgiving in our new dinning room, all together.   Grateful~ absolutely grateful that vision will be reality in a month.   And Thankful.  Thankful I found that lump.  Thankful my kids love me bald.  Thankful I have an amazing family that takes care of me like no other.  Thankful I have a supportive husband, that is my best friend.  Thankful that I have friends that never leave me alone, even when I am weepy, or angry, or just me.  This is life.  And I am so Thankful. 

5 comments:

  1. You have so much behind you now......alot of the hard stuff. I hope tomorrow goes okay for you. Not anything to look forward to other than one more off your list. I will be praying for you. ((((((HUGS)))))

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  2. Glad to see the positive attitude is still in force! You are my hero Brett! We continue to pray for you and think of you all the time! Enjoy every moment of Thanksgiving with your family. My family will also be thankful for you and your last chemo treatment. We love you!!

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  3. Hugs to you Brett! I will be thinking of you tomorrow. I will also give thanks for the end of the long bumpy road you have been traveling. Only smooth roads ahead. Love you Jumps

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  4. I think of you and your family all the time. When I read this you are an inspiration. I hope you are able to see how you really do look at the positives you have and how thankful you are. I know when you have a major thing happen in your life you really do see things differently and family and friends and God become the important things. Thank you so much for what you have given to us,the people so concerned about you. Always thinking of you. Gail Craig

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  5. Hey, Brett, So glad to see another post. I have been thinking of you, praying everything was going as well as could be expected. That Taxotere does take it out of you, but speaking from the soapbox of a year post-chemo, I can say that it does a job on the little buggers! Also, I was so glad to see that they let you off the hook after only 4 treatments. I too had my last chemo a year ago right before Thanksgiving, and when Doc C. told me was it, I had never been so thankful in my life! Onward now, dear girl. You should be feeling fine by Christmas (actually you should be feeling fine now)and able to enjoy every second of it.....

    Love, Pat

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