All that goes thru my head as I write this post is that silly, (rather catchy) theme song to the Facts of Life TV show that used to be on... "You take the good, you take the bad, you take em both and there have the Facts of Life, the Facts of Life!" You know the show, Blair, Tutie, Jo... it was a good one back in the day. Well, the song sums it up for me. I wish I could only blog good news... but when I started this I promised to share all details... and so, you take the good, you take the bad. And as I have said WAY too many times this past month. It is what it is. I suppose that is why it is a bit hard to blog today, there is good, and there is bad. I hope as you read this you feel the good. And know the good will prevail. I truly feel that way.
Friday June 3rd came and went as a beautiful day. The village of Granville was filled, and I mean filled with pink balloons and signs. It still makes me cry as I write this. It was the most amazing, unreal, lift to my spirit and I am still taken back by my ride into Riverside on that sunny afternoon. I told everyone I had the pleasure to see about it. My nurse, the drs., even Chase the attending who got to wheel me to the OR. It moved everyone. My favorite sign read " Hey Cancer, you picked the wrong Chick!" It was one of the last things I said as I went under. The surgery was 4 hrs. It was a successful surgery as they removed the tumor with clear margins. And more importantly, I got to wake up and see my beautiful family once again. That is success for me. I awoke asking the questions I had wanted to know now since they diagnosed me... Was it in my lymph nodes? Dr. Lilly explained it was. The sentinel node biopsy came back positive for cancer, meaning it had spread to my nodes. I was shocked. But, we would have to wait until Wed. for the full pathology report to know more. How many? I thought... but again, I was so happy to have the surgery behind me... I started to actually do what I had been telling myself to do... LIVE TODAY... so June 3rd. I started to work on my LIVE today, one step at a time. It worked. I felt remarkable well. A mastectomy is no walk in the park, but I really was feeling better every day. By the time I returned home Sunday I was able to take walks around the neighborhood, and sleep in my own bed. I was and still am amazed at the healing process. Tuesday night Dr. Lilly called, pathology was back and he ask to speak to Ben and I both on the phone. I can't say I was happy with the news. But, it is, what it is. He explained that what they had originally thought were two tumors, were instead one. It was larger than they had thought at 3.2 cm. Basically the two were connected if that gives you a better visual. It was good to hear it was removed with clear margins, meaning healthy breast tissue around the tumor. The right breast had no cancer, this is what we knew, but it was still good to hear. Now the lymph node news...Dr. Lilly took 30 from my left arm pit area, out of those 5 tested positive for Cancer. This is the news I didn't want to hear. So, I say this is why Cancer is a ride you never want to get on. You think you know what is going on, then it changes. It plays on your weakest emotions, and for that I hate it. But, it is, what it is. So, it puts me at Stage 3a. Don't start looking up the statistics... don't put yourself in a state of anger I tell myself. I have to admit, I am not sure I even cried. Until much later. We hung up the phone and prayed. And I felt an amazing sense of peace. Ben looked at me and said, it is all out. They got it. Now we just move forward and do the chemo, and now radiation. You can do this. You bet I can, and I will. I feel great. I am amazed at how great I feel. My drains (all 4 of them) look good. I need to Live today.
On Thursday we drove into Columbus for my post opp apt. with Dr. Treece, my plastic surgeon. He was so pleased with my recovery. He said I looked great, and then much to our surprise he removed all 4 drains. I was so happy. We knew I might have these up to a month... so to have them out so soon was just amazing. It hadn't even been a wk. I have an amazing HEALTHY body and it is working! I was so happy leaving his office (and my 4 drains behind) that I think I could have walked home! I had won. Even if it was my drains... I won. Moving forward... getting healthy. That was a great feeling.
There are a lot of little wins along the way. I think it is a win every morning I get to wake up and see my family. We are blessed. I went to Church on Sunday. It was just what I needed. As I start this week I think of my additional testing and bone scans I have scheduled on Wednesday. I feel so angry I have to do these tests now. I hate thinking it could be somewhere else. But, on the flip side I feel so happy with my body, seems so ironic, I am doing so well, and feeling so well. How could anything really be there. I pray all the Cancer is gone from my body. And so, I need to LIVE today. And guess what... so do YOU! :) Love you all so very, very much.